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Lexington Connection Page 6
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“What happened to Julie?”
“I tried, I really did. There just wasn’t enough time; there was so much that first year, Dad, Mom, Nicki. Julie was still in college, she had nothing but college. She couldn’t understand that my time wasn’t my own. I didn’t have time for her.”
“Shit!” Diana sat up. “You probably didn’t have time for you. Good God, woman.”
Jessie looked up at her as if confessing a grievous sin. “I abandoned her.”
“Abandoned?” Diana’s jaw dropped. “Good God, Jessie. You took on a lot at an age when most of us are just learning how to manage our own lives. You took on a kid, two sick parents. And you think you abandoned her? My God, I’m more inclined to think she abandoned you.”
“I loved her so much, she was so special.” Jessie’s eyes were filled with remorse and Diana realized she had never been able to grieve. Or let go.
“Honey.” Diana sat up, moved close to Jessie. “Surely she understood.”
Jessie shook her head, looking down into her lap.
“But you talked to her, explained how things were.”
“I tried, there just was never enough time. I couldn’t get away to spend any time with her. And once or twice when I did see her, I had to bring Nicki.”
“Did she come see you?”
Jessie shook her head.
Diana was quickly forming her own opinion of Julie and it wasn’t a positive one. She knew better than to say anything negative. “Honey, I’m so sorry it turned out so badly.”
“I felt like I didn’t have time to devote to anyone else.”
“And you’re still waiting for Julie,” Diana said with sudden realization.
“I guess so.”
“Ohhhh.” Well that explains a lot, Diana thought. “Honey, how long has it been since you’ve seen Julie?”
Jessie stopped to think. “Well, let’s see, Nicki was eight, maybe nine. She had just started the new school so I was having more time. That was, oh, maybe four years ago, maybe five.”
“Honey, that’s a long time to wait.”
Jessie shrugged in helplessness. “I still love her,” she said sorrowfully. “Every time I think I’m over her, something happens and it hurts all over again, like it happened yesterday.” She buried her face in her hands.
Diana moved close to put her arms around Jessie. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you’re still hurting.” Here she had thought her Romeo was so self-sufficient and instead she was a woman hiding a broken heart. It didn’t put her off that Jessie was crying on her shoulder; it only endeared her more.
“I didn’t want to abandon her,” Jessie protested. “Mom, Dad, they all needed me.”
“And you didn’t fail them,” Diana soothed. “Families are important, they need our loyalty, our love. I’m so sorry Julie didn’t understand that. That’s not a failing on your part; it’s a good trait, an admirable trait. And you can only do so much. Jessie, you did what you had to do.”
Jessie closed her eyes, took a deep breath.
Diana turned Jessie’s face up to her. “You showed strength and resiliency and responsibility when the majority of us are still trying to figure out what life is about. You took on responsibilities beyond your years. You’re a good person. I can never see you abandoning anyone when they need you. You’ve got character.”
Jessie flushed and looked away. “Now you’re just trying to flatter me.”
And now it’s time to let go. Diana released Jessie. “No, just calling it the way I see it.” She sat back, watching Jessie gather herself together, put her shell back on. “I’m very flattered you let me see that part of you.”
“Well,” Jessie said casually as she poured another glass of wine. “As you said, you’re here today, gone tomorrow.”
“That does make it easier.” She decided it was time to change the subject, let Jessie out carefully. “Did your dad make a good recovery?”
“Yeah, he’s fine now. He took weight off and exercises more and has regular checkups but his last checkup was fine. And Nicki’s doing great in school.” She looked up at Diana with her usual cocky grin. “And I get around all right.”
“Oh, yes you do,” Diana agreed. She guessed the disclosures were finished for the day. “A terror to the community and unstable relationships.”
“Well, it’s gotten much better since you’ve been in the picture,” Jessie said. “You know, a nice distraction. All the insecure women breathe easier when they see you in town; we seem to have become somewhat of an item in certain circles.”
That’s not good.
“Then there are those who think you’re just a cover; and some who even doubt your existence. They just know something has occupied me for the weekend.”
“Well, I’m so glad I can aid the insecure,” Diana drawled back. She met Jessie’s smiling eyes. “I can well imagine what Jessie on the prowl does for them.”
“I know,” Jessie breathed, moving in on Diana. “I’m terrifying.”
“A big pussy cat.”
“Tiger pussy cat.”
“Oh, is it safe to have felines on a horse farm?”
Jessie put Diana on her back, straddled her, looked down into her face. “The horses are safe,” she said in a husky voice. “Can’t speak for other life forms.”
Diana shivered, laughed as she looked up at her lover. “I’m terrified.” She watched Jessie lower herself to bring their lips together. Oh, what was it about this woman who could just touch her and do this to her? She lifted her head, exposing her throat, shivering as Jessie kissed down her neck. She wrapped around Jessie, with new appreciation for the woman behind this long lean body. “Oh, God, Jess.” She could feel this woman’s strength and tenderness, wanton sexuality and responsibility. She felt lips at her breast without realizing Jessie had unbuttoned her shirt, unsnapped her bra. Warm breezes wafted against flesh not usually exposed and she knew she was helpless, deliberately so, with forethought and with abandonment, in Jessie’s hands. And she knew she was safe there.
She thought of that again as she knelt between Jessie’s long legs. Safe wasn’t a feeling she was accustomed to having outside the family, but she felt safe with Jessie. She glanced up at Jessie’s lean naked body stretched out before her, Jessie moaning as Diana touched, sought out her center.
“Ohhh, baby,” Jessie moaned, reaching out to grip the blanket edges.
“You like that?” Diana found Jessie’s center, slid in through the wetness, used her thumb to caress her swollen clit. She shivered as she watched the tall woman writhe at her touch. She bent over to run her tongue right above Jessie’s hairline, held on to Jessie’s hips to hold her steady.
“Oh, God, you know what I like, baby.”
“Oh, I try.” Diana added her warm breath on wet tissues. “For you, I try real hard.” Jessie started to say something and then gasped as Diana spread Jessie’s lips, bent lower to use her tongue. Jessie moaned, a long low sound that resonated into Diana.
It was when they were saying goodbye after this weekend that Jessie had pulled a slip of paper from her visor, folded it and handed it to Diana. And that was when Diana was sure it was a two-way attraction.
Chapter Four
Diana pulled into the parking lot just as it began to rain. She had wrapped up one delivery early, one eye on the clock, the other on the road. She wanted so much to make it early enough for a good evening. She checked into the hotel, called Margaret to let her know she was safe and sound. That had been one of the conditions for coming alone. “I’m fine, I’ll call you tomorrow. Promise.”
She took some deep breaths. She had never called Jessie before; it was almost unnerving. Maybe it would be better just to go to the bar and wait, but that meant it would be hours before she saw her. She was excited at the thought of seeing Jessie again. She was already anticipating their evening together as she looked around the room. She had taken the suite tonight, let the business pay this bill. After all it was business. The suite consisted of a sma
ll sitting area with the wet bar and a sleeping room. Would they go out to dinner? Order room service? Oh, what was the purpose of getting here early if she had to wait to go to the bar? She would call.
She dialed the number, amused at herself. She was shaking. The phone rang once, twice, three times, four, five, six.
“Galbreath!” came this bark into the phone.
“Jessie?” Diana didn’t recognize the harsh voice.
“Yes!” There was a lot of noise in the background, people talking, calling. “Who is this?”
“This is Diana. Have I called at a bad time?”
“I can’t hear you. Just a minute.” Then as an aside, “Honey, go ask Aunt Irene if she’ll look for your suitcase in the front closet.” Then the noise faded. “I’m back, this is Jessie.”
Diana’s heart sank. “I’m sorry, Jessie. Obviously I’ve called at a bad time. This is Diana.”
“Diana! Are you here in town?” Jessie didn’t sound exactly eager.
“Yes. But it’s okay. I just wanted to see if you were available. You sound busy. It’s all right.”
“No. Let me think. I’m sorry, Diana. It’s—it’s just been a madhouse here. Let me think.” And then there was a distraction again. “Harry, I’m so glad you could come by. No, I’ll be there in a minute, need to take care of this. Yes, I understand.”
Jessie came back to the phone. “I’m sorry, Diana.”
Diana gave up any ideas she had. “No, I’m sorry. You’re clearly into something. Don’t bother with me. We just didn’t connect this time. I’ll call again when I’m back.” She was already tearing this page out of her little black book.
“No, Diana, please, wait, let me think. Are you there?”
“Yes, I’m here.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m at the Hilton.”
Jessie took a deep breath. “Yes, it is a very bad time, but I really need to see you. Can I come by?”
“Of course you can. You know you can.”
“I don’t know when it will be; it might be very late.” Her breathing was heavy, she sounded distressed. “Maybe it’ll be too late.”
“You come when you can. I’ll be here. Room Two Sixteen.”
“Diana?”
“Yes?”
“I’m glad you came.” Then there was some shouting and Jessie was distracted again. “I’ve got to go. It may be late, but I’ll be by.” The connection was broken.
Diana stared at the phone as she hung it up. Maybe this calling wasn’t a good idea. She went to the window. This wasn’t what she expected. Jessie sounded upset, hassled. She shook her head. She had been lucky every other time, Jessie had been readily available. Now? She didn’t sound pleased to hear her. It sounded like there was a party going on. Yet Jessie had said she really needed to see her. In spite of everything going on, she needed to see Diana. But what was going on? Diana didn’t like things happening she didn’t know about. A good part of her, the logical part, said it was time to go, no matter what she had told Jessie, it was time to check out, hit the road, not come back. The other part, the part that responded to Jessie, couldn’t do it. Jessie said she needed her. She couldn’t run out on Jessie and that’s what it would be if she left now. She would have to play this out. She could leave immediately after.
The hour grew late. Diana ordered room service, not daring to leave the room. She had told Jessie she would be there. She ordered a movie and then couldn’t watch it. She paced, her imagination going all sorts of directions as she reined it in again and again and again.
Midnight came but no Jessie. Diana tried not to get angry; Jessie had said it might be very late. She twiddled her thumbs, lay down on the couch, dozed off and jerked awake. She had only been asleep for ten minutes. She couldn’t have missed her in that time.
She’s getting too close, she ended up telling herself. This isn’t just fun and games now. I’m waiting on her, and I’m worried about her and that’s not supposed to happen. I’m supposed to come to town and if she’s here, she’s here; and if she’s not, then maybe next time. So why am I pacing, waiting, worried?
Just when she was convincing herself she needed to pack and get the hell out of Dodge, there was a light rap on the door. She raced to the door but she hadn’t lost sense entirely. She checked through the peephole to see Jessie, jeans, white shirt, long raincoat, complete with sunglasses. Then as Jessie waited for Diana to unlock the door, she removed the sunglasses. Her face was swollen, her eyes red, dark circles under her eyes. Diana couldn’t get the door open quickly enough.
“Jessie! What’s wrong?”
“You’re still here. I was afraid it was too late.” Jessie stood back. She looked at Diana as if at a stranger. She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have come. I’m sorry.” She turned to go and Diana caught her arm.
“No, you’re not leaving, Jessie. What’s wrong? What’s happened?” Jessie stood there, frozen, not turning back. Diana tugged on her arm. “Jessie, come sit down,” she implored in a more gentle voice. “Come talk to me. You look like you need to sit down in a quiet place. Come in with me.”
Jessie rubbed her face. “Maybe for a little bit.” She allowed herself to be drawn into Diana’s rooms.
Diana locked the door without releasing Jessie’s arm. “Let me take your coat. It must still be raining out.” She hung up the coat, put her arm around Jessie and led her to the sofa. She picked up the television remote, switched the channel from the action movie to soft soothing jazz. Jessie sat down without any awareness. “Do you need something to drink? Have you eaten?”
“That would be nice. I think so, I don’t remember. There was so much food.”
Diana went to the wet bar, poured two drinks, the cold 7-Up Jessie preferred and then a straight shot. She looked like she needed it. She brought them both over, held them both out. Jessie reached for the straight shot, brought it to her lips slowly, uncertain, unseeing. Then she took it straight down, closing her eyes, shuddering as it went down. She handed the glass back to Diana.
Diana set the soda down on the table beside the sofa. She sat down beside Jessie, sitting on one leg, half facing Jessie. She took hold of her hand. “Honey, what happened?” She brushed Jessie’s hair back. It had been recently cut, neatly trimmed. She stroked Jessie’s face. “Talk to me.”
“You just get to town?”
“Yes.”
“Did you go to the bar?” Jessie rested her head back on the sofa.
“No, I came right here.” She watched as Jessie tried to speak, started several times but nothing came out. Whatever it was, it had hit Jessie hard. Diana decided she would have to be more direct. She came up on her knees beside Jessie, straddled her so she could look into her face. She slid her hands around Jessie’s jawline, lifting her head. “Tell me,” she commanded quietly. “Did something happen to Nicki?”
“No, Nicki’s fine.” Jessie closed her eyes, her head limp in Diana’s hands, not resisting, letting Diana’s fingers massage the back of her neck.
“Where is Nicki tonight?”
“She’s over at Aunt Irene’s.”
“That’s who I heard you talking about on the phone,” Diana remembered. Jessie nodded. “Honey,” she said cautiously, guessing. There could only be one reason why Jessie could be so shattered and Nicki at her aunt’s. “Did your dad have another heart attack?”
Jessie’s face crumpled but she nodded.
“Did he not make it this time?”
Biting her lip, Jessie shook her head, and she began to cry.
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.” She pulled Jessie to her, wrapped her arms around her as she felt Jessie’s arms encircle her. Jessie cried, breaking down completely. She clung to Diana and Diana held her, rocking her, holding her, brushing back her hair, making soothing sounds. “Shhhh,” she soothed after a while. Slowly Jessie stopped crying but Diana felt it was more exhaustion than anything else. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
“Happened Monday,” J
essie choked out. “Called me. He was at the horse farm. Couldn’t get there in time.” She looked up at Diana, stricken. “I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye, to tell him I loved him.”
“He knew you loved him,” Diana reassured her. “You’ve told him every day. You took care of him. He knew.”
Jessie shook her head. “I met the ambulance at the hospital. He was already gone.”
“Oh, honey, that must have been so hard.”
Jessie closed her eyes, losing some of her composure again. “Not as hard as telling Nicki. I don’t even know what I told her.” Diana slowly rocked Jessie, feeling Jessie rest against her. “The funeral was just yesterday.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t come into town earlier.”
“I couldn’t have seen you yesterday; so much was going on.” Jessie rested her head on Diana’s shoulder. “There was so much to do, so many people. It’s been a nightmare.” She relaxed a little. “I’m so tired but I needed to see you.”
“I would have waited for you, dear.” Diana could feel Jessie’s exhaustion. “You said Nicki was at her aunt’s?” Jessie nodded. “So there’s no reason for you to go home, is there?”
“No.”
“Then why don’t I put you to bed?” Diana said quietly. “You’re exhausted. You need to sleep. You go home, you’ll be alone. You don’t need that tonight.”
“That’s what I told everyone, that I needed to be alone. Otherwise they wouldn’t go away.” Jessie was relaxing without even realizing.
“Yes, you needed to get away.”
“Nicki may call.”
“She has your cell phone number. You brought it, didn’t you?”
“Of course.”
“Then let me put you to bed. I’ll hold you. You can sleep. I’ll wake you in the morning so you can be at home when Nicki comes home.”
Diana stepped backward off the loveseat and pulled Jessie to her feet. Jessie was pliant; Diana led her into the bedroom. Jessie stood unmoving beside the bed, her eyes closed. With tender care, Diana undressed her.